Who Has Control Of Your Life?

Do you accept responsibility for the good, bad & ugly of your life? Or do you blame others?

What's your perception regarding the level of control you have over your life? How much control do you feel you have over the events that influence you, your happiness, your success? If you're facing some type of challenge in life, do you feel as though you have control over the outcome or that it's in the hands of outside forces?

Your approach to life, & perception of these things, refers to your locus of control & whether it's internal or external. It can impact your propensity to respond or react, motivation to take action & your personality.

If you attribute success to your own efforts, believe you have significant control over what happens to you & take responsibility for your actions, you possess an internal locus of control. You would also be less influenced by other people's opinions, perform better when allowed to work at your own pace, hold a strong sense of self-efficacy (the measure of how capable a person feels about achieving their goals), tend to work hard to achieve goals, confidently face challenges, be physically healthy, feel happy in general, possess a sense of independence & be more likely to achieve success in your career.

Conversely, if you tend to blame other people for what occurs in your life, feel that success is the result of fate or luck & believe that you have no control over what happens to you, you exhibit an external locus of control. You would believe that you can't change your circumstances through your own efforts, would frequently feel hopeless or helpless when difficult situations arise & be more prone to learned helplessness (a state that occurs after repeatedly experiencing a stressful situation & subsequently believing that you're unable to change or control it, so you don't even try, even when opportunities to change appear).

So, you can see that a person with an internal locus of control would be more motivated to take action, because they believe it will actually make a difference. And, also, why they would have a more positive mindset & personality. 

Whereas an external locus of control doesn't really inspire motivation, because "why bother, when it won't make any difference anyway?", "I've tried before & nothing ever changes", "It's so much easier for everybody else."

The concept of locus of control was created by American Psychologist Julian Rotter in 1954 & he suggested that our behaviours are governed by rewards & punishments.

Meaning that the consequences of our actions, decisions, choices will help determine our beliefs about the potential outcome of future behaviours. If we've been rewarded for something in the past, we're more likely to repeat it or something similar. If we've been punished in some way (such as, by lack of success) then we'll be hesitant to try again because we believe the outcome will be the same.

So, a person who's predominantly internal would look at a reward & say "I made that happen" & the punishment & say "I will learn from this & make it work next time". 

Whereas, the predominantly external person would look at the reward & say "That was just luck, I couldn't do that again" & the punishment & say "It's never going to work, everyone is against me".

It's important to note that people aren't 100% internal or external. As with most things in life, we exist on a continuum between the two. And some situations benefit from an external locus of control, while an internal perception would be more advantageous in others. 

If you play a team sport & the team loses, it's not beneficial to internalise & shoulder the burden of the loss completely, as there would inevitably be a number of contributing factors that were out of your control - how each team member played, how good the other team was, the environment the game was played in, the weather, etc. Whereas, in that scenario, if you employed an internal locus of control you could experience guilt, sadness, depression, stress, anger, negative self-esteem & you would carry all of these beliefs & emotions into your next game. Thereby, setting yourself up for future punishment instead of potential rewards.

As with many aspects of life, & how we experience it, perspective can be a powerful tool!

Step out of yourself, out of the situation, & just observe what's happening from a more emotionally-detached perspective. This will shine an illuminating light on the bigger picture, the legitimate role we have to play in particular scenarios & what we can actually control. 

Sometimes the sphere of control will be heavily weighted toward the centre (us!) & other times it will be weighted toward the edges (others), where we have little to no influence or control. But only by adopting a different perspective, will we be able to identify this.

Because our locus of control & behaviours have a default mode (just like glass-half- empty/pessimism & glass-half-full/optimism approaches to life) it's worth contemplating where we find ourselves on the spectrum, as it can have an immense impact on our happiness, physical & mental health, relationships, career success, sense of worth, self-esteem, educational achievements & emotional wellbeing. And then we can employ perspective to help us understand & enhance our locus of control, so we can use it to our benefit & not our detriment.

So, if you read these statements, which grouping do you resonate with more? -

External

• I often feel like I have little control over my life & what happens to me
• People rarely get what they deserve
• It's not worth setting goals or making plans because too many things can happen that are outside of my control
• Life is a game of chance
• Individuals have little influence over the events of the world

Internal

• If you work hard & commit yourself to a goal, you can achieve anything
• There's no such thing as fate or destiny
• If you study hard & are well prepared, you can do well on exams
• Luck has little to do with success, it's mostly a matter of dedication & effort
• In the long run, people tend to get what they deserve in life

Only when we're honest with ourselves can we make 

the necessary changes for a better life for ourselves        

& those around us. 

Honestly assess where your default 

locus of control is, ask yourself how successfully it's 

working for you & then engage some perspective.

What if, we look at things a little differently?                

What if, we take responsibility for our successes? 
What if, we take responsibility for our failures? 
What if, we realise that there's always another 

point of view?

What if, we realise that adaptability & flexibility in 

thinking & behaviour can change everything? 

What if? 

Kim Harrison 
mindmakeover.com.au