Self-Improvement is Not All Ra-Ra

We Can All Benefit From Developing Ourselves

I have to admit that I used to be extremely critical of the entire self-improvement industry because, let’s face it, that’s what it’s become, a huge industry.  I used to think that it was all ra-ra and woo-woo that was full of ‘happy clappers’, as we referred to the people who attended the seminars or bought the books or watched the videos and unquestioningly accepted everything their preferred 'guru' espoused.  

I thought that the self-improvement gurus were just selling a dream of what life could be to people who had very little chance of achieving such an existence.  Sort of like what my husband, son and I used to refer to as the Australian Idol Syndrome.  You know, when you would see contestants interviewed on Australian Idol and they would say how their Mum told them how fantastic they are and that they can achieve anything they wish for.  And then they’d perform and be absolutely terrible.  Well, that’s the Australian Idol Syndrome, selling a false dream to someone who doesn’t actually possess the abilities to ever achieve what you’re promising.

I remember a friend attending Tony Robbins courses almost two decades ago, doing the whole fire walking thing and eventually becoming a volunteer crew member on future courses.  He went down the self-improvement tunnel at full speed and I just didn’t understand it at all.  And perhaps that was partially because I’d seen him implode his entire life - he had an affair with a colleague which resulted in the end of his marriage, his relationship with his kids suffered, his ownership of his business was placed in jeopardy and he just seemed to be carrying around an emotional heaviness constantly.  And then he found Tony and it was like he’d found God!  

All I knew of Tony Robbins at the time, like a lot of people I suppose, was that he was a physically huge human and that he motivated people. I had no comprehension of his full array of skills, talents and expertise.  So, with my limited knowledge, I thought my friend had fallen blindly into the happy clapper camp.  What I didn’t realise was that he had been emotionally drowning in the confusion and guilt surrounding his actions, had completely lost his sense of identity and needed some sort of life raft.  For him, Tony Robbins was that life raft.  

The psychological deconstruction, and subsequent reconstruction, that Tony Robbins puts people through is remarkable.  I haven’t had the privilege of attending any of his courses but I have several friends who have and the consensus is that it is a life altering experience.  And not in the way that your confidence is boosted because you’ve been motivated and told you’re the best or that your dreams/goals have upscaled because you’re told you can achieve anything.  But life altering in the way that your deconstruction and reconstruction has allowed you to find your true self; recognise your strengths and weaknesses; identify your self-limiting beliefs and their fundamental causes; and empower you to develop the tools to improve any and every aspect of yourself. 

So, as I have worked on expanding my own mind, I have realised that my previous opinion on both the people seeking self-improvement and those providing it, was completely uninformed.  But, remember, we don’t know what we don’t know and we need to forgive ourselves for that.  And apologise when necessary, which I have also done!  We should all seek to improve ourselves over our lifetimes because it makes life much more exciting, interesting, fulfilling and enjoyable!  Not only for us, but for those around us too.  And our brains don’t lose the ability to acquire knowledge at a certain age, we can learn new things until the day we die, so we’re wasting a valuable tool if we don’t fully utilise it.  

I’m still not a fan of the styles of some of the self-improvement gurus because, for me, they seem a bit Australian Idol Syndrome’ish.  You know they’re all about the false promise and extremely lacking in the delivery.  Just like every other industry, there’s some who are all about the bright, shiny facade of themselves and their big promise and are severely lacking in content, experience and knowledge.  But there is also an abundance of amazing people in the self-improvement realm who may be able to help you, even if it’s just in some small way.  The beauty of it being such a big industry is that there’s someone to suit everybody’s taste.  

Whether you feel an affinity with Tony Robbins, Jay Shetty, Mel Robbins, Carrie Wilkerson, Lewis Howes, Vishen Lakhiani, Denise Duffield-Thomas, Brene Brown or somebody else, the opportunity to expand is there for all of us.  Whether you want to improve your emotional life, your physical health, the success of your business, the quality of your relationships or your mindset, there are a multitude of options.  And it doesn’t even need to cost you any money.  

You can follow people on social media, many of them have free resources available, borrow books from your local library and the magical world of podcasts brings experts directly into your ears anywhere, any time.  I am an absolute fan of podcasts!  I have been introduced to so many new people and ideas via podcasts, people that I would never have discovered any other way, that I cannot espouse their virtues enough.  And if you don’t enjoy what you’re listening to you can just turn it off, rather than feeling obliged to sit through it because you’re attending a seminar you invested hundreds or thousands of dollars in.  It’s a great introduction to people who you may wish to invest money into seeing at a later stage.  A real try-before-you-buy type of approach.

I still don’t believe we can all achieve anything or everything we wish for, because we do have varying abilities and strengths that can’t always be developed in the direction we would like, but if we work on expanding ourselves intellectually and psychologically it will certainly open up a lot more pathways toward that improved life that we aspire to.

“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too.” - Paulo Coelho (Brazilian Author)

Kim Harrison

www.mindmakeover.com.au